Once, in my father’s bookshop, I heard a regular customer say that few things leave a deeper mark on a reader than the first book that finds its way into his heart. Those first images, the echo of words we think we have left behind, accompany us throughout our lives and sculpt a palace in our memory to which, sooner or later—no matter how many books we read, how many worlds we discover, or how much we learn or forget—we will return.
I promised my friend I would send her packets of sauce from Taco Bell that all say “Will you marry me?” and while I’m at the post office getting this ready the woman behind the counter asked why I was putting sauce packets into a box. When I explained that they all said “Will you marry me?” she asked if I was proposing. I had to tell her that it was a promise to my friend and I hoped she didn’t intent to take it as a proposal
My roommate when I showed her Benedict’s ice bucket challenge video
Her: Is that his underwear?
*to anyone but Bradly*
Do you ever watch the pilot episode of a show and during the first minutes you’re already sitting up and paying attention and all you can think is
I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance.
Jon Stewart (via kushandwizdom)
subway sure doesn’t mess around when it comes to puns
"I’m glad I started following you." Is not something you want to hear in real life
It seems like cats never forgot the fact that they were worshipped as gods thousands of years ago